I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
