i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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