You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
