Kiss
Puke
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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