And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
