You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
