I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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