I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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