so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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