1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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