I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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