My nipple is on Facebook.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize