Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
