What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
