well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He shit in the fireplace
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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