I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize