Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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