I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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