Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
