I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
