we're chasing vodka with high fives
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
