I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
