I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
