The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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