Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
