it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
