yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The adults are the big ones right?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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