Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
