laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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