The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
