he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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