You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?