I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.