so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.