you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize