I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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