So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
