I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
