Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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