just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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