Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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