Can i not drive my cunt home
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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