My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You can't just leave with hair like that
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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