i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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