I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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