my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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