Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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