All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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