I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
