Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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