lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
