im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize