Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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