So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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