plz talk dirty to me
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
