there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
