Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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