when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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