the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
