And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
