I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize