Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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